Pain of a Double Life
by goldeneyes09
Summary: Charlie gets a painful call from Billy about Jacobs emotional state right now. Charlie gets the idea that Bella should date Jacob. Where does that leave Bella and Edward? Post Eclipse no Breaking Dawn EDITED!


Title: The Pain of a Double Life

**Characters: Bella, Edward, Jacob, and rest of characters here and there. **

**Parings: Bella/Edward, Bella/Jacob**

**Summary: AU, Vampires, Werewolves, Bella a human. Spoilers till the end of Eclipse, no Breaking Dawn. Charlie gets a painful call from Billy about how hurt Jacob is without Bella. Charlie gets an idea; Bella should date Jake! With all that going on, what happens to Edward and Bella? I am a HUGE TEAM EDWARD FAN SO YEAH!**

**AN: SO if anyone has seen this story before it was because I am actually going through with writing this. So I took down the old one, and put up my new Beta'd one. Much love goes out to my amazing beta ****JCLadybug ****who put in a lot of effort in to this chapter, and who encouraged me to complete this story.**

BPOV Present

I hate Charlie. I hate this situation. I hate that I agreed to do this. I am a push over. Why can't I say no sometimes? This whole mess started because Jacob Black is my best friend, and I hate to see him in pain, especially when I am the source of it. What pains me the most it that my poor Edward has to sit back and watch it all happen, without complaint. These days I have a hard time looking into his beautiful eyes only to see them flooded with pain. I couldn't blame him though; he had every right to be hurt. What hurts the most is that he understands why I have to do this; and everyday I love him even more for not trying to stop it all. However, the fact remains that the day I had to become Jacob Black's girlfriend was the day that I saw Edward's soul being crushed.

One month ago…

_I got home from a wonderful date with Edward. He made a delicious meal of spaghetti and meatballs, and I ate under the stars in our meadow. The night was filled with us trying to slow dance to my lullaby, and cuddle into his chest while his whispered his love in to my ear. The night could have not been more perfect. _

_It was getting late, and we both decided to pack up and bring me back home. He parked his car a block from my house, knowing that he was going to spend the night, starting off where we left off in the meadow. We walked hand in hand till we got to my front door. He pulled me in to his arms, and kissed me softly. I felt like I was cloud nine whenever he kissed me. God I love his lips on mine. Unfortunately, he pulled away, and gently nuzzled his forehead to mine and looked into my eyes with so much love. I broke our silence._

"_I'll see you upstairs."_

"_I'll be waiting love, hurry back to me."_

"_Always." I smiled at him, and he took off to my second floor room._

_I walked in to the kitchen to see Charlie on the phone. His facial expressions really gave him away. He looked worried. He saw me, and when he gave me a small half crooked sad smile, I knew something was wrong._

"_Alright Billy thank you for telling me that. I will see what I can do. Talk to you later. Bye." He hung up the phone, and faced towards me. _

"_Hey Bella, how was your date with Edward?" He asked casually. I knew this couldn't be good. He never wanted to know about Edward, especially about my dates with him. He was stalling. _

"_It was great! He cooked me dinner. It was nice for someone else to cook for a change." He smiled, but then it fell. _

"_So dad, what did Billy want?" I asked calmly. _

"_Bella… I don't know how to tell you, but Jacob he…" my father hesitated. Oh God, what's wrong with Jacob? He said we would be ok. He PROMISED me!_

"_Dad, what about Jacob? Is he ok? Did he get hurt or something?" I was panicking now. Gosh, my father loves to drag out drama!_

"_Not physically Bella, but emotionally he is hurting. He really misses you kiddo. I know how much he loves you…" _

"_I love him to Dad but…" my father cut me off; not letting me say how deep my love for Edward goes._

"… _Then why don't you talk to him; or better yet, why don't you take him out on a date he…" I cut him off._

"_Hell no! Dad I don't feel that way towards him."_

"_Are you sure Bella? I have seen how you two are around each other, you guys have great chemistry." My dad smiled at me. If only I could punch it off. _

_We stared at each other for a moment; not really knowing what to say. Charlie ended the awkward silence._

"_Billy says that Jake has had some suicidal thoughts lately. Jake has not come right out and said it, but the way he has been acting, and the things he has been saying, have led Billy to believe that he might commit suicide. Bella it's bad." My dad said. My tone softened, trying to take it all in. Jacob, commit suicide? Oh God this is not good. My thoughts led back to my Edward; he was waiting up in the comfort of my bedroom, probably listening; waiting to hear what I said about this. A part of me wants to yell at Charlie saying that I love Edward more than life itself, and never see Jake again. Another part of me it screaming to give that chance that Jacob always wanted. Maybe it would give him closure; having his chance to love me, and realize that we were NOT meant for each other. How would Edward react though? Would he leave again? Would he fight for me? Or would he understand that I am helping a friend? _

"_Dad, what about Edward? He loves me SO much! I love him! How would I do this to him? It would crush him! I can't do that to him; he deserves better than that!" I felt the tears flowing out of my eyes, leaving a trail of salty mess down my cheeks. My dad comes up to me and hugs me. It feels like I'm in out of body experience because this almost never happens._

" _I understand that honey, but remember what Edward did to you…" That got me fuming._

"_NO! Do not bring that up in this conversation. Edward had a very good reason for leaving me, and I understand why. It might of hurt, but still, he came back for me, and everyday he makes up for it."_

"_I know that topic hurts for you to talk about for you Bella, but look at it this way; tell Edward that you guys cannot be together for a while. I am sure he will understand. Come on Bella, give Jacob a chance; he deserves one." He looked at me with concern in his eyes. I thought for a second. I realized that I was not only doing this for Jake, but for his family, his pack. If he were really thinking about 'offing' himself, it would crush his family. That I could NOT live with; I really hoped that Edward would understand that, and I hope he will still know that I love him way more than anything else on this planet._

_I sighed, "Fine, I will give him a chance. You are right, he deserves it." My father smiled at me, and I knew it was a bad decision, but it was for the best; at least I hoped it was._

"_Thank you Bella. Call Jacob up, and see if he wants to do something."_

"_NO the first thing I have got to do is break up with Edward. Gosh dad, how do I let him down easy?"_

"_Bella, there is no easy way for this; just rip the band-aide off quick. That is the best thing for him."_

"_Oh, ok. Well I think I am going to bed; I have a lot to think about."_

"_Good night Bella, I am so proud of you. Thank you so much."_

_I could not look at him when he said that because I did not feel proud. I felt ashamed of myself; I hurt my angel, my Edward._

_I walked into my room to see Edward sitting on my bed, with his head in his hands. I knew that he heard the whole thing. He heard me walk in, and lifted his head. I wish he hadn't because I saw exactly what I knew I would see; all the pain he felt, and all the love he had for me, pouring out of his eyes._

_I closed my door, and rushed towards him; I grabbed him and brought him in to me arms. He pushed so much of his weight on me that we fell to the floor. I was scared that Charlie would come in with the burst of noise, but no one came. I cradled him in my arms just like all the times that he had before me. If he could cry, I knew he would be. I knew I was. I hate to see him in so much pain. I kissed the top of his head, and he looked up to my face._

"_I love you…" He said so faintly. I almost did not catch it, but I understood what he was saying. I rested my forehead on to his, while I intertwined our fingers together._

"_I know you do. I love you too, so much Edward. I don't want to do this, but he is my friend Edward. I can't let him die!" I watched his face soften, and he brought his free hand to my cheeks, drying the fallen tears._

"_So, how do we do this Bella? Do I just leave now, and never come to see you again? Do we become friends? I understand why you have to do this, but where does that leave us?" He had a good point; I could not just pluck Edward out of my life again. I need him like I need air. I came to a conclusion._

"_Well we break up in public. We act as if we don't know each other and go on with our lives. In private though, like how we are now; we stay together secretly. I know that you do not want to share me, and I know that I only want to belong to you, but this is the only way that we can still be together. I will be Jacob's boyfriend to the public, but to you and your family I will only belong to you." I watched him contemplate over what I have just suggested to him. His mind looked like it was going a million miles a minute. I lifted our knotted fingers up, and gently kissed every one of his beautiful fingers._

"_I suppose." I knew it was so hard for him to agree with what I was asking, but he understands what I need to do. I kissed him softly._

"_Thank you sweetheart, now go lay in my bed. I need to have a human moment." I kissed his forehead daintily, and ran off to the bathroom._

_I came back to find him lying on my bed as I asked, staring at the ceiling. I knew it was going to be hard for him. I walked over and wrapped myself up in the heavy blankets he insisted that I must wear when I sleep._

_I turned on my side, looking at the beautiful, broken man._

"_Come here…" I said. He looked at me, and I held my arms wide open so I could hold him. He usually did the holding, only because I was the one who usually needed the comforting. He came to me, and rested his head in the valley between my breasts. I gently stroked his gorgeous head of hair to calm him down._

"_I love you. No matter what happens, I will ALWAYS be your Bella, and you will ALWAYS be my Edward. Do not ever forget that ok?" He turned to look at me with a small smile, filled with hope._

"_I love you to, my angel. Now sleep and only dream sweet dreams love." I kissed his lips ever so lightly, and drifted off to sleep with Edward on my chest, humming my lullaby._

Present

It has been one month since I have seen my love's soul be crushed, but he understands my purpose of this. I wait on my bed; in my new pajamas for him. I just came back from a date with Jacob, and all I want to do is lay in the comfort and coolness of Edward's arms.

To be Continued…

**AN: Hate it? Love it? Review it! **


End file.
